How to handle offence in relationship with biblical understanding—overcome bitterness, forgive freely, and keep your heart pure before God.
💞 Relationship Blog Series
In the journey of our relationships whether in family, friendship, or marriage—there’s one key truth that often goes unnoticed: it’s not what happens to us that defines our future, but how we respond when it happens.
We focus so much on the offence, the accusation, the betrayal, or the pain—but rarely do we consider that our response can either open the door to our destiny or close it.
In our last episode on the Relationship Under Repair, How Expectations Kill Relationships, we learned that love must be free from expectations—because when we expect too much from others, disappointment is inevitable.
But what happens when that disappointment turns into hurt? When someone wrongs you, betrays you, or treats you unfairly—how do you respond?
This episode reminds us: your response determines your future and provide wisdom from biblical perspective on how to handle offence in relationship.
When Hurt Comes – What Do You Do?
Let’s be honest – life is full of moments that hurt. People will disappoint you, betray you, misunderstand you, or even lie about you. Sometimes the pain cuts deep, leaving you bitter and broken. But here’s the truth: how to handle offence in relationship is your response because it determines your future.
It’s not what happens to you that defines you—it’s how you respond to what happens.
If you understand the tactics and strategies of Satan, you will overcome him. Remember, two wrongs do not make a right. Be careful! Your reaction in moments of pain reveals who you really are.
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
— Galatians 6:1 (NIV)
The Word of God reminds us to respond with gentleness, even when others fall short. When you’re hurt, embarrassed, misjudged, or mistreated—how you respond will either build your future or break it.
How to Handle Offence in Relationship: Jesus Showed Us the Way
Look at Jesus on the cross. In His greatest moment of pain, He said, “Father, forgive them.”
Notice, He didn’t just forgive the offenders—He forgave “them,” both the offender and the offended. That’s deep!
Too often, our response to hurt leaves us trapped in bitterness, anger, jealousy, envy, and resentment. That’s exactly where Satan wants you—offended and isolated.
We must be spiritually prepared and armed for offence, because offence is one of Satan’s most effective weapons.
“So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man.”
— Acts 24:16 (NIV)
The Trap of Offence
Offence is very common, epidemic, rampant, unavoidable, and occurs everywhere. It is bound to happen because the Bible says it is impossible to live among people and not have the opportunity to be offended.
We have almost come to believe it is simply a way of life because it is so common. If Satan wants to imprison you, he knows exactly how to go about it through offence.
Satan wants to embarrass you through offence. Offence itself isn’t deadly. What is deadly is when it stays in your heart and you act on it. The only thing you can do is: don’t feed on it in your heart; don’t act on it. People will offend you.
Offence isn’t instantly destructive but as it lingers and grows inside you, it becomes hazardous. Well, yes, the road of humility and self-denial is not the easiest to take but your response is your weapon. It’s the key to loose or bind. Your response either locks you more into bondage or opens your future.
How to Handle Offence in Relationship: When Satan Comes Knocking
When Satan sees you happy in your relationships, progressing, and walking in peace, he sends offence your way. Why? Because he knows your response will determine whether you move forward or stay stuck.
Maybe your dreams have been delayed because you’re still holding on to offence. You’re praying, fasting, working hard—but deep inside, bitterness is blocking your breakthrough.
Until you learn to live and love without expectation, your life will remain unstable.
True love doesn’t expect anything in return. If I care for you, it shouldn’t be because I’m waiting for you—or anyone else—to reward me.
God sees your heart. He is the One who rewards.
So, love freely. Forgive quickly. Let go of offence and don’t destroy your relationship. Because in the end, your response determines your future.
Conclusion: How to Handle Offence in Relationship
Your future is shaped not primarily by what happens to you but by how you respond. Hurt, betrayal, misjudgement they are inevitable. But how you respond to them matters infinitely more than the offence itself. Do not let bitterness, resentment or offence take root. Choose a response aligned with humility, forgiveness, and godly love. That choice determines your future.
Next Episode Preview
In the next episode of our series, we will explore how to not destroy your relationships when hurt comes. How do we recover, rebuild and safeguard our relationships? We’ll unpack the behaviours that damage what we hold dear, and show how to walk instead in restoration, so that offence does not become a weapon of destruction. Stay tuned for Episode 4